Everyone I ever loved Went down in history… The blue eyes came The brown eyes left… And the rest is misery Dreams are trash On the side of the road All starry eyed - tongue all tied There’s something you should know I could have died with you And Boston is the reason I’m feeling so blue - damn you City lights and colder nights I’m innocent (minus the fights) Praying out loud for a winter of quiet Friday nights are killing me I fall asleep - pen in hand There’s something you should know I could have died with you And Boston is the reason I’m feeling so blue Cities aren’t a way to cure a disease And I don’t even know Why you listen to me A razor wristed kid Looking forward to ends If love was a bridge You’d be the one in the fens "All the kids are fucking dead" I write “with love and a gun to my head” these days aren’t going to last too long (i know - i know - i know) I’m drawing words from a tired heart I’m drawing blood from a tired heart
ok when you want a boy to call you. and he calls. and you have to go to the store so you tell him to call you back. then he calls you back. and you need to walk your dog. and get off the phone again. do expect me to get fucking pist for wasting my time. yes im going to be upset.
to explain, how i feel, intermittently, would be a challenge. I’m on the outside, one thing, and another when i reflect. its odd. the cacophony of my life seems to blur my intentions, and the words i speak. i often find myself with no words. rather than attempt a mediocre expression of me, i just shut the fuck up.
i dont really understand what is happening here. it is growing up? is it the fact i feel a complete disconnect with everything i held dearly? 2010 has been a challenging year, only in the fact of staving off the apathy.
twenty eight hits hard. a numbness to almost all things hits me harder. is this just how it goes? do we just get old and let the fire inside wain? until it smolders then goes out? isnt like supposed to be spicy? a new taste for a new day? i dont feel it. and it pisses me off.